The Funny Side of Tax Season

Fun with taxes? While most of us will easily recognize the oxymoron in that statement, I was determined to find something fun to write about for tax season this year. My goal is simply to bring a little levity to a situation that usually produces a grimace. I searched the internet for something suitable, even went as far as scanning the Wall Street Journal and other publications for a glimpse of something humorous about preparing, filing and paying taxes. As you can imagine, I did not have much luck. I did, however, come across some great quotes about taxes, so grab a cup of coffee, get comfortable, and enjoy a few brief comments on the lighter side of paying taxes.

Mark Twain
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

Will Rogers
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Robert A. Heinlein
There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.

Arthur Godfrey
I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money.

H. L. Mencken
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

Albert Einstein
[on filing for tax returns] This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher.

John S. Coleman
The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away.

Herman Wouk
Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

Will Rogers
It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.

Dr. Laurence J. Peter
America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

Milton Friedman
Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay.

John Maynard Keynes
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

Winston Churchill
There is no such thing as a good tax.

Will Rogers
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

Plato
When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income.

Benjamin Tucker
To force a man to pay for the violation of his own liberty is indeed an addition of insult to injury.

Will Rogers
The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

Ronald Reagan
The taxpayer: that's someone who works for the federal government, but doesn't have to take a civil service examination.

Robert A. Heinlein
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

Winston Churchill
We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

Barry Goldwater
The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.

Calvin Coolidge
Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.

Dan Bennett
There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won't cure.

Martin A. Sullivan
There may be liberty and justice for all, but there are tax breaks only for some.

Jewish Proverb
Taxes grow without rain.

Rob Knauerhase
Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!'?

Roger Jones
I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged.

Jean-Baptiste Colbert
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing.